What should I do?

My wife often goes out and drinks too much and gets a litlle friendly with other guys. The other day she was hanging off this guy and going on and on about him.


Now I should note that she is never this way with me. When I confronted her about it she said she was just being friendly.

ANOTHER POST:  In Search of some Good Marriage Advice.

My question is that if she is like this in front of me should I be worried what she does when I’m not there?



60 thoughts on “What should I do?

  1. Yes.
    Even if I drink when going out (I keep it responsible (Maybe 1 or 2 with dinner out) and not into the bar scene in the slightest) i would not think in the slightest of groping or being all over another man (whether I was single or married).
    I am married but that’s irrelevant because doing it anyways is disrespectful and trashy. (I am married but very happy and in love and even during tough times I plugged into fixing it/working on it with hubby and not pull away to someone else).
    That your wife is justifying it as harmless and friendly is concerning. IMO she’s already cheating, thinking about &/or really has zero respect for you. I’m very sorry. Not fair or okay at all

  2. I think just the opposite. If she acts like this in front of you I would assume she has nothing to hide.

    Generally if a spouse has something to hide they will go out of their way to do exactly that, hide it and not do this in front of you at all.

    I would address this to her and let her know it makes you uncomfortable.

    Maybe ask her if she’d like to go on a date, take her to dinner and a movie and rekindle the relationship. Good luck.

  3. I don’t think it’s ok at all!! If you reversed the situation and this was you acting that way would she be ok with you just being “friendly”
    I know that what’s mine is mine and I wouldn’t stand for that shit!

  4. I have an ex friend who is like that in front of her husband. If you we’re to see them out and about with a group of people, you’d never, ever know they were married.

    She actually screwed around with one of her best friends common law boyfriend’s, full blown affair. I feel like if you can do it in front of your husband, you can do it anytime.

  5. Why do people post relationship/marriage advise on here?? The ONLY person you should be talking to about YOUR relationship is your partner. If you have to rely on strangers to give you solace in regards to personal affairs, something is way off.

    1. As you can see, he did confront her. And there’s nothing wrong with someone looking for some advice. People tend to read into things a lot and sometimes, it takes one stranger who’s speaking from outside the box to open their eyes to something helpful.

    2. Also, when one confronts their partner and they react the way this guys did, it is common for people to overreact so him asking for advice to go about this with a clear mind and view instead of overreacting is sometimes the best move for a relationship in these types of situations. It’s another way of stepping back and looking from another’s eyes

  6. It’s hard to say if it means more or not, but it is pretty disrespectful to you either way, especially if you have made it clear that it makes you uncomfortable and she continues to do it.

  7. She probably thinks she does first pic..when I reality she does second pic. I’d say that your going to record her next time and show her. If she doesn’t get embarrassed for herself I’d question motives for sure.

  8. Perhaps she feels you don’t pay enough attention to her so she is trying to let you see she is still attractive to others so you may get jealous and step up to the plate and pay her more attention?

  9. I’ve met and known quite a few women like that. Interestingly enough usually I hear from them when their man isn’t making them happy, then they almost do not exist when the man is making her happy. A couple that still talk to me act like as if it’s second nature. Some women are just open around multiple men but (usually) won’t actually get physical with them aside from flirty touches. Different men have different views on it. I had an old buddy who is into the whole wife swapping parties (long time business owners). Personally I wouldn’t want a woman like that, so I just don’t take anyone like that seriously even if they try something on me. Call me crazy but my favourite woman is one that isn’t the most beautiful- but one that does not crave attention from multiple men, and does not give me shit. Now that is because I am old school. Though if you don’t like it and she does not respect your feelings, then that’s no good.

  10. You took the first step by confronting her. That’s your right to be concerned. After that do we really know anything about her? If her actions are cause for concern address her again and let her know how you feel. It’s making you feel uncomfortable and suspicious. If she cares, she will work it out with you. No one deserves to feel unworthy in a relationship. Try talking again and if she is passive on how you feel then ask yourself if that’s how you want to be treated in the long run.

  11. Do yourself a favor …pack your shit an leave
    She is obviously not committed to you or she would treat you better than she treats everyone else…..so let her go hang off other dudes …go out an find a good women who will treat you like a lover…like a mate…like an partner……
    No need to continue being shit on

  12. She’s cheating on you man. That’s a massive red flag.
    You would know if your heart if your wife is faithful or not. Listen to that 6th sense.
    But in my experience, a girl who is married or not single and her behavior is such, she’s cheating on you man, only question is how long.
    Good luck

  13. I lived this life 9 years ago. I was wife my now ex-wife for a total of 18 years. I was with an abusive, disloyal woman who ruined my early years and cheated.
    Now that I’m older and with the love of my life, getting ready to get married I look back and tell you to get out while you can. You don’t deserve, no man deserves, to be disrespected and possibly cheated on. I can honestly say it was the worst years of my life and my biggest regret was not leaving her sooner than I did.
    I believed she would change and vows are sacred. Vows are indeed sacred with the right lady.
    I can’t say for sure that your wife is cheating BUT from my experience she is indeed.

  14. I think if she does it in front of you then she is comfortable knowing you trust her and she doesn’t have to hide. If you are a very rigid person who would not do this then maybe you should do it to her.. I danced on tables and my hubby used to tell young guys to dance with me and he would buy them a drink because he was very shy and not very out going so i had a ball dancing and he sat with his friends and talked.. Of course i saved the slow dances for him and he danced with me.. Good luck and feel it out first before just assuming..

  15. Well if it was the other way around and it was my husband getting all this attention from some woman I would be over there in a flash there is friendly and then there is over friendly and I think that is what this is .. just go over and scoop your wife back in a kind manner and if she makes a scene . Then you know it’s time to rethink about your marriage and where to go next….. also this is like kicking you in the teeth with her hands all over a guy she does not know .. and know you are watching her and doing nothing about it … where is her respect not only for you but for herself … she sounds like a woman who should not be drinking

  16. I would ask if she is just as friendly with the women. Many people get huggy and “friendly” when they have had a few and it never goes to cheating or anything sinister….

    As someone mentioned, if she is like that with you around she is not hiding anything….if you don’t trust her then there’s a bigger problem with your relationship that you should talk to her about.

  17. Um what are your relationship boundaries? Everyone has them, just may not talk about them….. example cheating for most would be crossing the boundaries. For others an open relationship is fine. Or verbal flirting ok, touching not. If you haven’t talk about them then you have some catch up to do. My husband and I have more conservative relationship boundaries. We talked about them before we got married and continue to talk as we progress in our relationship (1.5 yrs married). One Example- We do not go out for a meal with the opposite sex alone. At the end of the day what’s more important my husband and making sure nothing comes between us and making him happy and secure in our relationship or lunch with some male co-worker.

    Each relationship is different and will have their own boundaries (even if people say they don’t or shouldn’t have to have them). but unless you talk then your not sure if you share the same relationship goals and that is how people get hurt.

    So if her behaviour with other men is not something you are comfortable with then that isn’t anyone else’s say whether that is right or wrong. We don’t know your history/background/beliefs/values etc. Or hers. This is a discussion with your wife. If she says it’s nothing to worry about and your over reacting…. I’d say her priority is in the wrong place. She needs to be working with you and hearing your concerns and coming together as a team….. of course the opposite is also required. You need to do the same. Team effort.

  18. as for posters saying if she does this in front of you shes beig open, im more inclined to think if she does this in front of you, how much is she doing behind your back drunk


Join the Discussion!